The task I have set myself is proving no easy task, but I knew that beforehand. I also know that I will need much strength to keep going and not give in, but I need my moment of "poor me nobody loves me" at least tonight, tomorrow I will continue the internal struggle with myself
I have sown and the harvest is lost , as so often, it is clear that I choose not be on the field, no subscription right, or not watering enough, perhaps to rot because I do too, but try to avoid it. The reality is that I remain alone in solitude with people who say this is the worst. I will not sink for a few months I have been mourning for me and it's time to take her clothes black, when I happened to gray and I hope soon to look white and bright clothes. My main company I am myself and that I will support me.
is difficult to reflect my mood, I can not find a word to define it properly and anyone who uses will always be unrealistic. It is a mixture of accountability and purpose to continue fighting, in other fields and other battles, keep trying if I can have the win. The prize? Be happy, my eternal smile is genuine and true, that out of myself and not a grimace Do you get it? I think that if I still have positive experiences to live and that I heartily enjoy.
But ... would like a hug and warm hearted, arms that wrapped me for a while, hands that I stroked her hair, and a voice that tells me everything is fine, that I'm wanted, a warm smile to give me back faith in people, so help me .....
I am ashamed to complain much, I know there are people in very bad situation, having a great evil for objective questions and I with my absurd drama of loneliness, abandonment and betrayal, so I avoid it as far as possible, but this journal is mine, my own corner, where you draw out all that goes through my head and my heart so much pain, not because of anything I've put the tagline of "resting the head" Is not what I say in my environment? To relax you, to let me in so many turns and is more practical, quizás más materialista..no sé, he salido así y no puedo, ni quiero, evitarlo.
Así que vamos a reconstruir y reconstruirme, en ello estamos ya, primero habrá que tirar abajo los pilares que ya no sostienen la construcción, despues asentar unas bases firmes para ir poniendo los ladrillos sobre ellas. Espero que me quede bien, firme y recia, que me sirva de refugio el resto de mi vida y que por fin, pueda tener un lugar en el que sentirme a gusto.
¿Lo conseguiré?
